SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

We're doing a 3 month trial of her continuing to work at her current job. If I can't handle it then she will start to switch to another company.

I recommend a 3 second trial. Oh look, time’s up.

The way Delta force do their selection. Is they have you run through the forest over routes for time. But they don’t tell you the max time allowable. You get to the end of each run hike and they tell you either you passed or you didn’t. You have no idea how close you came to passing or how close you came to failing. It’s a hard thing to deal with for the candidates, as they try to meter their effort to make sure they pass, but not kill themselves. Ultimately, they have to go full bore if they really want it. It is a test of character.

If you were going to do the three month trial then maybe do it in that fashion. Give her zero feedback throughout the three months and just watch. No hugs, no attaboys, no you need to try harder. Just watch. She will likely be desperate for feedback and information she can use to manipulate the playing field. Give her nothing, just let her show her character.

You don’t need to do it for three months. You really only need three days but maybe give her three weeks. When it is over, make your decision, stay or go.

[This message edited by HouseOfPlane at 1:23 AM, Saturday, September 6th]

UseD2 -

Been following your thread. How are things going?

UseD2 -

Been following your thread. How are things going?

There are good days and bad ones. Still in MC and IC. She still works with him, but there is a plan in place for that to change. If it doesn't - then I'm gone.

Looks like your PMs are off. But just a reminder I'm happy to take a PM if you think there is anything I could talk over with you that you don't want on the public forum. Obviously I'm going to be happy to share way more detail about my own story in PMs as well if you have any questions.

Looks like your PMs are off. But just a reminder I'm happy to take a PM if you think there is anything I could talk over with you that you don't want on the public forum. Obviously I'm going to be happy to share way more detail about my own story in PMs as well if you have any questions.

Thanks. I think you have to enable them when you sign up, and I didn't. If there is anything you think of that might help that you don't want in a public forum - feel free to send one.

I found out June 1st. She got a whatsapp message from a coworker on a sunday, which I thought was odd. I looked. confronted her with screenshots—sexting, flirty messages, the works. She told him I knew before she apologized to me. Then she deleted everything.

She says she’s sorry. Says she wants to fix things. Says it was "just" sexting and feelings. No sex. As if that makes it easier to swallow.

Wow, that's almost my story exactly, texts in her phone. Her excuse: "its just sexting, never had sex w/ the perp, never saw his privates, he never saw mine, I swear it...".

Im VERY sorry to say (for both the original poster and myself) that it was complete bs. It was a 4 month affair with her coworker I had stumbled onto, via the texts in her phone. It was even "hidden", in that she had entered his phone number under one of her friends name (a female, we'll call "Jane" for the sake of this discussion). However, "Jane" isn't built with the private parts I was reading about in the texts to my wife. I DID get her to admit it was a male coworker, not "Jane" which was obvious because of what "Jane" wanted to do with "her" private parts. No texts between her and "Jane" would have contained the things I was reading. When I found out it was her coworker, I became very aggressive in my questioning of her, to the point that she said "I have to go out for a while. You're putting WAY too much pressure on me". Oh really?? Ain't that just too bad... I was just getting started. I told her "if you walk out that door, the locks will be changed within 10 minutes, and you WONT come back in... ever". She broke at that point, and confessed to the whole POS.

I didn't read every comment to the original post, but Ill say this: If I knew then what I know now, I'd would not have confronted my wife with what I'd read, as difficult as that would have been. I would have hired a P.I. and found out (with absolute video and photographic proof) what the actual story was.

Just my .02 cents

[This message edited by Phill at 11:33 PM, Wednesday, November 26th]

Thanks. I think you have to enable them when you sign up, and I didn't.

I think you have to have 50 posts before you can send and receive PMs.