Me BW
Him WH
Two kids
Dday sept 28 2011
Together since 2000, married 2005
On our way to ??

I took me 20 years but I am done

After his affair in 2011, I gave him another chance. Now here we are 14 years later and I am done. I don't think he is had another affair but he is a chronic liar. He is also a financial disaster. I have asked him to find help to control his debt. Our Credit Union was giving a debt free class and I asked him to go find advice. That same day he bought a 6000$ bicycle. He then lies and lies about how he got the greatest deal in the whole world. Financially he does cover some expenses but I know he has credit cards that are maxed out. We have always kept our finances separate but at the end his actions affect the family.

It does not matter what we talk or agree on, he ends up doing whatever he wants, I get upset, he waits until I calm down and the cycle repeats over and over again. It is like raising a rebel child. Another deal breaker for me is the fact he always has had a female friend who knows the truth of what he is doing and he tells her about his frustrations with me. He has an emotional connection with her that he does not have with me. He has always loved to play the victim. He is passive aggresive and I am more bold and loud so it works out perfectly for him.

I want to file for divorce. I have always known we would end up divorced eventhough the family aspect has been nice but finally all the baggage has caught up to me. Also, financially I don't want to have any connection with him,

Would love to try a friendly divorce but I have no idea how he will react. We have a 17 and a 15 y/o. We will all have to deal with this. Finally the moment has arrived. I am not even angry or sad. I just need to get this done once and for all. Any advice?

8 comments posted: Tuesday, November 11th, 2025