SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My WS is having a rough year. His best friend from high school died in January in a freak car accident. And now his father has cancer and it’s not looking good. I am trying so hard to be supportive but I’m also terrified. His affair was triggered by depression which he is in treatment for but I’m just worried that he will relapse because of all this.

[This message edited by AdLarue17 at 2:35 PM, Friday, May 2nd]

My support AdLarue17 is for YOU and YOU alone.

And this may come off harsh, and I do apologies in advance for that.

But...we ALL have triggers about life happenstances. We all don't CHOOSE affairs (or other negative coping mechanisms).

Slight T/J - in 2024 my BFF from HS passed unexpectedly and I lost a parent after a battle with illness. I never cheated. End T/J

So, while I understand this is a very hard time for your WH - and you giving him love and support is good for you to do as his wife, for him to blame his behaviors on such life happenstances is absolute bullshit.

Any backsliding that may happen is still 100% his choice. I hope his IC is working with him on how to choose positive coping mechanisms.

As for you - I get you being terrified. And it smart for you to be. I hope you have an IC you are discussing this with. And you have a plan of action should your worst fears come true.

What positive coping mechanisms are you using to handle this situation and how are you best taking care of you during this difficult time?

I am working with an IC on this fear and I’m just trying to be kind to myself right now. I’m also leaning on a good friend who has been very supportive. I just feel very freaked. I mean I’m also sad because I love my father in law.