SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

HAPPY Thankful Thursday everyone !!!

First off...I am so THANKFUL that this thread is still going...THANK YOU This0is0Fine for having it brought back !!

I apologize for not coming on here as regularly as I said I would. When infidelity no longer takes up space in your head...you have so many other things to think about and do . But I want to come back and "pay it forward"...to let the newbies on here KNOW that there is HOPE and that you most definitely CAN and WILL survive infidelity . I can't say that all marriages will survive...but I can say that YOU WILL...just take it one day at a time (((HUGS))). You will soon find that not only will you survive infidelity...you can actually THRIVE despite it ! I guess this is another thing I am thankful for...that I don't feel the NEED to come on here like I used to. Then again...maybe some of y'all were thankful that I WASN'T on here !!!

My husband continues to make EVERY day a wonderful day for me as well...and I am very THANKFUL that I made the decision to give him another chance It's the "little" things he has decided to do on his own. Walking on the "outside" when we are going out...holding doors open for me...even opening the car door for me. These little things that never bothered me before when he DIDN'T do them now mean so much to me because he makes it a point to show me he puts me FIRST. For someone who has always been the "Taker" in our relationship...he has really become an amazing "GIVER" !!

My husband was very selfish...all cheaters are. One of my ultimatums on Dday was that he had to show me he was going to be UNselfish. I gave him some tasks he HAD to do before I would even think about staying...and he took those tasks to heart!! He not only did them...he surpassed them ! Once he started reading his Bible...mainly to try and figure out how he could "fix" that adultery issue he had ...he started realizing he had a lot more issues than just that. He saw that selfishness was the root of most of his issues...and he has done a complete 180 on that part...which has enhanced our M like nothing else could have . We both live the Scripture passage of Philippians 2:3 now...and what a difference it has made in our M ! As some of these wonderful people say on here...you have to BOTH be ALL IN in order for R to work...and I will add that when my H and I treat each other with selflessness...it makes for a very HAPPY M !! I am truly living my Happily Ever After...and I am so very THANKFUL for that !!!

Here I was, logging in today with the idea I would have to bump my favorite thread — and instead, W2BHA, the kindest soul on SI, the one who started this thread has already jumped in with a happy update.

Glad to see you doing well W2BHA!

When infidelity no longer takes up space in your head...you have so many other things to think about and do

Amen to that!

I mainly jumped back in this thread to be thankful for SI and all the helpful people here again before I log out for a while.

My annual hiatus usually starts in the holiday season where I get to focus on my family and friends, and focus on the rewards of all the hard work I have done to get here (and appreciate all the hard work my wife has done to get here too).

Thankful and grateful season is upon us, and I am ready to celebrate. Both of my adult sons will be able to visit for Turkey Day next week and that’s a pretty good way to kick things off.

I hope everyone heals up best they can, and everyone has a safe holiday season!

W2BH what a lovely post! These little gestures you mention are the things I've noticed my husband doing that I guess he didn't do before and I didn't really notice and what a difference they make!
We went Christmas shopping last week and there were quite a few people who'd had a few too many drinks at their bottomless brunches and my husband constantly put himself between me and them, making sure no one bumped into me whilst carrying all my shopping and not once complaining whilst I looked in 'just one more shop'!
Then this morning I woke up to find it had snowed and my husband told me he had drove out before bed to fill my car up and check the tyres for me. It's these 'little things' that really make all the difference and make me feel loved and thankful for giving my husband another chance.

Oldwounds...I hope you have a lovely thanksgiving...us UK people have a while to wait to have our turkey!

Thanks Evio - happy for your update as well.

And you may have to wait for turkey, but I am jealous you have already seen snow!

I do like changes of season and still need some snow around these parts.

Oldwounds...my DEAR friend...how NICE to "see" you on here still !! New BH's who come here with such RAW emotions really need to read the great wisdom from the experience that people like you, sisoon, and others who have come through to the other side with thriving M's despite infidelity have to write . Y'all give them HOPE to just hang on a little while longer...until they can get strong enough to be able to make a more logic based decision about their future instead of acting on their emotions. It is hard to believe that there could EVER be a time when infidelity doesn't consume every second of every waking moment...but we are living proof that it does indeed happen !! Thank You God that I am FAR from that place now!!

YOUR story is an AMAZING one in that it is probably a typical one...if that makes sense. You gave your lovely wife a chance to redeem herself...and in turn you got an "Eight Cow Wife" . SHE could have stayed the same...and your M would have ended. But SHE didn't...and neither did YOU...and the work you BOTH put in to get where y'all are now...PERFECTION !!! I LOVE y'alls story and I am so HAPPY that you get to tell it on here as an example for others . It may have been you who wrote it...but BOTH people have to be ALL IN for R to work. That is so TRUE!

Almost all of our children will be with us for Thanksgiving...but we will see the others this weekend...so it will be a THANKFUL WEEK !!! They've added more grandchildren for us to love on this year...so even more BLESSINGS...Thank You God...AGAIN !!! ENJOY y'alls Turkey Day my friend !!!

Evio...thank you...your post is pretty awesome too ! I LOVE your tagline as well! Positivity will HELP so much in your healing process . With me living in the southern part of the United States, we very seldom get snow. But in January of this past year we actually had a blizzard invade our area. OH MY GOSH!!! We Cajuns down here can't handle snow...there are too many bayous around so we would all end up in them if we tried to drive !! So EVERYTHING was shut down for about 3 days.

We were warned about it...much like we are when hurricanes are coming...so our Parish was all prepared with food and water to hunker down. That first day...the snow started falling...and falling...and it actually didn't MELT like it normally does ! My husband and I went out to take a few pictures but hurried back inside because it is COLD when it snows !! The next morning I opened my kitchen curtains to see if there was any snow and I was NOT prepared for what I saw. The sun was beaming down on the "white blanket" that covered everything...but it looked like diamonds had been scattered everywhere...it was all SPARKLY !!! It was so BEAUTIFUL!!! I have heard about the quiet hush of the newfallen snow...but I never experienced it before. Just WOW!!! All these years I have lived on this Earth...and this was the first time I experienced a blizzard! Thankfully we never lost electricity so we were able to communicate with everyone and see the gorgeous pictures and witness the snowmen and snowwomen they had...although most of them were decked out in Mardi Gras regalia !!! It was Mardi Gras season after all !! The best part about it though was that in a few days...the snow was all melted and we were able to drive through our town with no utility poles being downed or roofs having blue tarps on them like we experience after a hurricane...that was NICE !!

I do believe that laughter is very good for a relationship and it was missing in ours for such a long time. Our story which is sexual in nature happened on a Saturday morning which is sort of our scheduled time for fooling around. My wife is 67 and I am 69 and we are not nearly as flexible as we used to be and boy do I miss that. Throughout our morning in bed we let out the usual moans and groans of pleasure along with the unusual moans and groans of pain and muscle spasms as age has changed our bodies over the years. Towards the end of our time in bed that morning I said if anyone could have heard us that morning they would have thought it was quite a passionate morning but I said that little did they know it was not all sounds of passion. We both had quite the laugh after that as we cuddled together a little longer. I am "Thankful" for getting the laughter back after my wife's LTA!!

Lost1313

Lost1313...I can definitely RELATE !! We are in our 60's as well...and we have laughed at the very same thing !!

Another weird thing that we found we would laugh about was the A . It didn't happen when I first found out...but one day I made a joke about the A...and we both looked at each other...then busted out laughing ! It was a little "inside joke" for just the two of us...something only we could share...and it was kind of cool . It messed with my head a little about WHY we would laugh about such a HORRID thing...so I posted about it on here for the vets to help me out. As it turned out...it was more common than I thought .

Like you said...laughter IS good for a relationship...and for our well being . So GOOD for y'all for finding something to share a laugh about !!!

Happy EARLY Thankful Thursday Everyone !

With Thanksgiving coming up...food and dessert prep is going to be in full force...so this Cajun is going to be a little busy for the next few days. That is the FIRST thing I am THANKFUL for...to still have family around to celebrate Thanksgiving . We have no more parents here on Earth to be able to celebrate with...which will make this a poignant Thanksgiving...because we have new grandchildren to enjoy THIS one with. It is sad to not have those we have loved for so many years with us this year...but at the same time we are so excited to see our little ones enjoying their first Thanksgiving with us. One day though...we will ALL be together .

I am also thankful that we are at a point in our life where we can actually just ENJOY this holiday as well . Our children are grown so we are NOT having Thanksgiving at our house...we are going to theirs ! We just bring a few side dishes and they do the rest...NICE!!

And of course...I am very thankful that my H is in my life . I LOVE our life together!! We fought the fight...we worked HARD to get where we are now...and we made it through to the other side...very much still in love with each other! I AM living my Happily Ever After...as my H told me he was going to make it his life's mission to give me . YEP...I have my fairy tale M and I am not afraid to say it or live it ! I am so THANKFUL that I took that leap!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Had a wonderful day with the family and am stuffed full of delicious food.

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans… And happy regular day to everyone else!

After a relatively seamless holiday hosted at our home, I’m just feeling so, so, SO grateful for my husband. He has been so understanding and kind and loving to me lately. He has said things to me I didn’t even know I wanted or needed to hear that just make me melt with love and relief, and um, other feelings hehe We both worked very hard for two days to get 11 different dishes on our table this year, as well as a clean and cozy home in which to serve and enjoy it with our guests. I am so proud of us!

I’m grateful for this site as well. Sometimes some of you drive me nuts, but I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to about this if it wasn’t for you guys. So thank you!